


Burnout

by PeaceLilies



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Burnout - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, There's no Season 8, They're married in this one, Trauma, future!Au, mention of children dying, there's also sex but not very explicit sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:46:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26939116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeaceLilies/pseuds/PeaceLilies
Summary: Keith has a breakdown after a particularly challenging mission with the Blades. Shiro comes and brings him home for some much needed R&R.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

  * For [littlegraybunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlegraybunny/gifts).



> I'm actually really proud of this fic. I wrote it ages ago and really didn't have any intention of publishing it, but, here we are. I wanted to explore some of the more challenging moments of Keith's work and just the general power of love. I rather enjoy exploring Keith and Shiro's relationship, particularly it's strength in difficult times. 
> 
> Thanks to littlegraybunny for inspiring me, as always, with our Sheith RP!
> 
> There's a lot of HCs of mine in this...I just really love exploring all of the iterations of Sheith. It's pretty much edited but there may be some tags I missed, apologies in advance!

He got the call after his debriefing with the Galra counsel, which was always long and exhausting. He was still new at this, the first ever intergalactic Ambassador from Earth, stationed on Daibazaal.

Shiro enjoyed challenges, thrived on them...but sometimes he felt like this was something he would never conquer. He was about two years into the position, doing this alone, while his husband was working on humanitarian aid, traveling galaxies to reach many civilizations who had been decimated by the Galra empire...and make amends. Shiro was immensely proud of him and all that he had accomplished in the short time he had been working...but the months and months apart were... _ difficult _ to say the least. 

And so here he was, alone in the large house that served as his--their-- embassy residence, using whatever down time he did have to make it a home. His mother-in-law would visit often and he had his staff...but it wasn’t quite the same. When the call came in, he was expecting it to be the nightly check in from his husband, something they had tried to maintain while they were apart when time allowed. 

“Hey, trou---” the words died on his lips, as the person on the screen was most definitely _ not _ his husband. Shiro blinked, worry knotting his stomach. 

“Acxa?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Admiral, but I think it’s imperative that we discuss what’s been going on with Commander Kogane.”

Shiro sat straighter in his chair, running through all different kinds of scenarios. Had something happened on a mission? Was something going on with the crew? He knew Keith had looked tired the last few times they had talked...but...was he ill? Injured?

“What’s going on?”

Acxa did not often display emotion. Of Keith’s three lieutenants, she was the most unflappable, and that was why she was his second in command. The look on her face was one of concern...it did not suit her. 

“This has been going on for several weeks now...the other lieutenants and I have been debating whether to contact you, but, we believe that...we no longer have a choice. About two vargas ago, Commander Kogane fainted on the bridge. We have him in the med bay and his vitals have been holding steady. We...I...have been noticing quite a few discrepancies in his behavior and have tried addressing it with him. He wouldn’t hear me out and I’m fearful that perhaps he’s...exhausted himself.”

Shiro stared at her, trying to process exactly what she was saying. 

“What kind of discrepancies?” he asked. 

“Irritability, moodiness, random outbursts of anger. He rarely sleeps, has not eaten with the crew or even really had a full meal in several days. He is hyperfocused on the orphaned Galra hybrid children we have been finding that have been abandoned due to their lineage. Zethrid and Ezor had to carry him...kicking and screaming...to his quarters to sleep. Zethrid stood guard outside his door to be sure he didn’t leave and we shut down his access to the ship’s mainframe so he couldn’t work. It...has been extremely challenging. The crew all agree that he should take some time off before he works himself to death. They are all worried for him.  _ I  _ am worried for him. I am asking you to...to come and retrieve him.” 

Shiro was filled with unease...and not a small bit of anger. He should have known. Of course he should have. What with Keith always looking exhausted, always looking like he was about to fall asleep and barely keeping it together because of course he would save the last bit of energy he had for Shiro. This was not in any way surprising to him, especially given that Keith had withheld any information about how he was actually doing. Shiro knew he should have pressed him harder...should have done more to have him come home.

“Send me your coordinates. I’ll leave as soon as possible.”

Acxa nodded, looking relieved. 

“Thank you, Admiral.”

Krolia was furious, which indicated her level of concern for her son. Both Shiro and Kolivan had to dissuade her from coming along, if only because Keith would dig his heels in deeper if both his husband  _ and _ his mother came to get him. 

Shiro was on his way in a matter of hours. The trip would take about two days and he was in contact with Acxa, who informed him that they were keeping Keith confined to the med bay until Shiro arrived to take him back to Daibazaal. 

Shiro spent the entire trip in worry, thinking about all the ways Keith might react, all the different conversations they could have. He didn’t think Keith would come quietly, but he hoped that all of their years together, their  _ love _ for each other, would be enough. He made sure to rest, because coming in hot and exhausted wasn’t going to be helpful. He just wanted to make sure that his husband was safe...taken care of. He wouldn’t prevent him from returning to work...but maybe help him find a better balance. 

He arrived at  _ The Intrepid _ , the small cargo ship that had been converted into the main ship of the small fleet the Blade of Marmora had as part of it’s humanitarian effort. It was outfitted for war, to fight against pirates or hostile peoples uninterested in aid. Keith was so proud of his ship...his crew. Shiro’s stomach knotted. 

Acxa met him in the hangar, leading him inside and giving him a debrief. Keith had woken up, was pissed, and had to be restrained and sedated several times. He was not happy to hear about Shiro’s arrival. Acxa had taken over operations and command of the ship. They were three days behind schedule...but taking care of their captain was more important. 

Acxa led him to the med bay, where Zethrid was standing guard outside the door. She nodded at Shiro, expression serious. 

“Good luck,” she said, stepping aside to let Shiro pass through. 

Keith was sitting on the bed in the med bay, looking out the window at the stars. He was dressed in what looked like a hospital gown, one side hanging off his shoulder, revealing the scar there, his normally neatly braided hair was messy, his shoulders hunched. 

“What are you doing here, Shiro?” he asked in a flat voice. 

Shiro took a deep breath, ready for battle. His husband was a tender, loving soul...but he protected himself viciously when he was vulnerable. His stubborn, prickly beauty. 

“I came to get you,” Shiro replied truthfully, “Acxa told me---”

“Fuck what Acxa said! I’m fine!”

Shiro remained calm, breathing even. 

“Sweetheart...you fainted on the bridge.”

“Don’t ‘sweetheart’ me, Shiro! I’m. _ fine _ . Everyone is just overreacting.” 

He said it through gritted teeth, looking over his shoulder. Shiro could see his elongated canines, the yellow of his sclera. He was angry...and unwell. Shiro had never seen him look so pale, dark circles under his eyes.

“Keith…”

“I don’t need a babysitter! I don’t need to be taken care of! I can handle this! We have so much fucking work to do and all this is doing is preventing us from getting it done! There are billions...trillions of people out there who need our help!”

Keith stood, shakily, turning around to face Shiro, one hand on the mattress to hold himself steady. The sight of him made Shiro’s heart constrict. 

“Keith...you can’t save everyone in the universe...not all by yourself. You know that better than anyone. Your entire crew has been worried about you...about your behavior. They’re scared. I’m scared.”

Keith barred his teeth and hissed. 

“I can do my  _ fucking _ job.” 

Shiro nodded, coming closer, slowly. 

“No one is saying that you  _ can’t _ do your job. We all know that you can. You’re more than qualified, more than capable. But if you’re running yourself literally ragged, everything is going to come to a complete standstill. Your crew was hand selected and trained by you. They know your expectations, they know how to do their jobs. Acxa is an excellent leader...she can hold down the fort.” 

“No. No! Absolutely not! No one on this ship---”

Shiro cut him off with a raised hand and he could see the fury rise in Keith. 

“Stop. Listen to yourself. This mission is bigger than just you, Keith. By not taking care of yourself, by taking everything on and not asking for help, you are putting yourself, your crew, and all of those trillions of people at risk. That is irresponsible.”

“Th-that...that’s not fair,” Keith replied, flagging.

Shiro came around the bed, wrapping an arm around Keith who sagged against him. He felt thin...frail. His heart broke. 

“Baby...I’m afraid for you,” he murmured, wrapping Keith in his arms. He didn’t resist, but he didn’t return the embrace. 

“Please come home...just for a little while. Recoup, reset, come back fresh. You need that...I need it…”

Keith said nothing and Shiro was worried that he had passed out again. 

“...fine,” he said, “but I’m not taking more than a week…”

Shiro held his tongue. He would take what he could get, pick his battles, live to fight another day. 

“Okay,” he said. 

Keith pushed away from him. 

“Pack me a bag...I’m going to get dressed…” 


	2. Troubles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro takes an unhappy Keith home...

Keith locked himself in the small sleeping bay in Shiro’s cruiser, slamming his bag against the wall, and sealing the door. Which was just as well. The extreme moodiness was out of character for him, but Shiro figured that that was what happened when you burnt out. 

He had never seen it so bad before...and it broke his heart to see Keith like that...to see him angry and lashing out. Shiro wanted to comfort, to fix it...but Keith wouldn’t let him close. 

Keith did sleep, which relieved Shiro. His body was probably too tired and just gave out, but at least he was getting rest and Shiro didn’t have to resort to knocking him out. If he was awake, they didn’t talk, and he would mostly ignore Shiro. They ate separately, slept separately. It hurt. 

Shiro didn’t try to explain himself...because Keith wouldn’t hear it. When he was ready, he’d come to him. Because Shiro was always there. Steady as a rock...no matter how much Keith stormed. 

Shiro sat in the captain’s seat, the cruiser on autopilot. They were about 18 hours from Daibazaal and they hadn’t talked except for Shiro telling Keith it was time to eat, or just...checking in on him periodically. He wiped at his eyes, wet from frustration. This wasn’t how he had imagined their reunion. It was supposed to be happy and excited, neither of them able to let go of the other. He hated this rift...how Keith kept him at bay. 

He sniffed, scowling, trying to find something to do with his hands to keep his mind occupied. He heard the door to the sleeping bay hiss open and saw Keith coming out in the reflection of the windshield. 

Shiro turned, feet coming off the dashboard. 

“Hey,” he said softly. 

“Hey,” Keith replied. His hair was wet, freshly cleaned, and he was dressed in pajamas. He looked a little better, less worn around the edges, more himself. He had a comb in his hand. 

“Would you mind braiding my hair…?” he asked. 

Shiro looked to the comb, then back up to Keith’s face. 

“Not at all.”

Shiro stood and Keith turned around. He combed out his hair carefully, sectioning it neatly, before handing the comb back to Keith and started braiding. They had done this so many times over the years. It had become a bedtime ritual, something sweet and intimate that they shared, talking about their days if they’d missed one another because of work or other duties. Shiro finished, gently tying a band around the end to hold it in place. 

“There,” he said softly, and Keith turned, looking up at him with sad eyes. 

“Thanks,” he replied and wrapped his arms around Shiro’s neck. He smelt clean and like himself and Shiro wrapped his arms around him in return. They held one another for a long moment, Keith tucking his face against Shiro’s neck. 

“I’m sorry...I wasn’t…I shouldn’t have…”

Shiro smoothed a hand against the back of Keith’s hair. 

“You weren’t yourself.” 

“No...I wasn’t. And you’re right...I should have been taking better care of myself...I’m just…”

“You’re a doer, baby. And the work you’re doing is admirable. But you don’t have to do it all alone.”

Keith clung to him. 

“I know that. I  _ know _ . But...Shiro...there are so many people...so many  _ kids  _ out there. They’re alone out there, unwanted, with no place to go. Who is going to take care of them…?”

Shiro could hear the tremble in his voice. How long had he been carrying this alone? 

“It’s scary. This is...what the aftermath of a 10,000 year long war looks like. In space, no less. It’s terrifying. But you don’t have to go it alone. You have your crew, you have me, your mom...we can advocate for this. We can start making things happen. You can spearhead it. But it doesn’t have to just be  _ you _ , Keith. I’m your partner...we promised each other we’d be in this together. Don’t shut me out.” 

Keith sniffed. 

“I just...I don’t want this to touch you,” he murmured, “I want you settled and happy. You’re a nester...you deserve to be in one spot, making a home.”

Shiro chuckled, turning his face into Keith’s hair, closing his eyes against tears. 

“You don’t have to protect me from everything. I’m here for you just like you’re here for me. I hate seeing you like this. I want to protect you, too. This is a two way street.” 

A shuddered sigh. 

“I know…I’m sorry.”

“We’ll work on it together. There’s a such thing as balance.” 

They pulled away to look at one another, chuckling a little. Shiro smiled, soft and affectionate, gently brushing his thumbs under Keith’s eyes, leaning in to kiss his eyelids. 

“I love you...”

Keith squeezed Shiro to him, nudging their faces together. 

“I love you, too, starlight.” 

Shiro closed his eyes, feeling the constricted pieces of his heart ease. Keith kissed his cheek and Shiro turned his head, so they could properly kiss. It was slow and tentative and sweet. They were both tired and just being together was enough. 

“Are you going to bed?” Shiro asked, rocking them both back and forth in a small circle in the cabin. 

“Yes. Are you...?” Shiro kissed his forehead. 

“Yeah,” he replied, “just have to make sure that we’re on a steady course.” 

Keith smiled, the first real smile that Shiro had seen in months. 

“Good.”

Keith woke up to the sound of an alarm. He tried opening his eyes, feeling groggy, eyelids heavy. 

“Mmm…?”

He could feel someone moving next to him, the mattress shifting, the alarm turning off. An arm wrapped around his middle, pulling him flush against a warm, solid chest. 

_ Shiro _ . 

“We’re almost home,” he murmured, nuzzling against the back of Keith’s head. Keith rolled over in his arms, slinging a leg over Shiro’s hip, skin sliding against skin. He tucked himself against him and promptly fell back asleep. 

That was what his life had been for the past four days. He would sleep for hours, a deep, dreamless sleep, as if his body was too tired to even come up with nightmares. He would wake with enough energy to eat, move around a little. He had managed a shower, which was sorely needed, and he’d felt better after that. 

Keith woke to the feel of Shiro’s thumb against his hairline, lips against his cheek. What a wonderful way to be woken. His heart constricted. He had missed this more than he had words for. He hadn’t seen Shiro in  _ months _ and he felt guilty that their first words to one another in person had been so cold and harsh. 

He rolled over, wrapping himself around Shiro like a limpet. Shiro flopped onto his back, chuckling, and held him. It felt so good to be in his arms...to feel safe and loved and cared for and wanted. His beautiful, steadfast, loyal husband. What had he done to deserve him?

“We should be arriving in about 3 hours,” Shiro said, stroking his hand up and down Keith’s bare back. His gestures were gentle and soothing. Keith could see the little furrow between his brows, a sign of worry, and leaned in to kiss him there. 

“You’re so thin…” he murmured, concern lacing his voice. He wasn’t wrong. Keith knew it. Knew he hadn’t been acting right. He’d become so consumed by trying to fix everything wrong with the universe...it had nearly driven him to madness. 

He trusted Shiro. If there was a way to find balance in his life when dealing with this, they'd be able to figure it out together. He had just felt so... desperate. He threw all that he had into  _ doing _ and  _ fixing _ and now he was paying the price. But he hadn't been able to see it at the time. 

He'd had the chance to reflect, think things through. Shiro had never hurt him, not once. If he had come to get him and bring him home, it was for a good reason. Saving his life was a damn good reason.

"What're you thinking?"

Keith looked at him, the soft gray of his eyes, always so warm and affectionate, watching him attentively. Not judging. Just curious, waiting. 

"That if you'd come this far to get me, there was a good reason. That I...need to pump the brakes a little and find a better strategy than...tossing myself into something to the point of driving myself crazy."

He sighed, eyes closed. Shiro kissed his forehead gently and Keith sought his mouth. 

"Maybe I'll take more than 2 weeks…" he murmured and he could feel Shiro's smile. 


	3. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally home, Keith recuperates...

They arrived on Daibazaal to minimal fanfare, to Keith's relief. His mother and Kolivan were waiting at the docking station. He could almost  _ feel _ his mother's anxiety, knew he would be able to smell it on her. 

Shiro went first, holding Keith's hand, offering him support. Krolia came forward, eyes only for her son. 

"Mom…"

Krolia grabbed his face, speaking to him so quickly in Galra that he had no idea what she was saying. She was angry...and terrified. 

"Mom...I can't…"

She stopped, as if only just realizing what she was doing and let out a breath. 

"You scared me," she said, "what you did was foolish. Sacrificing your own well-being is not a good quality in a leader."

He felt himself flush, ashamed.

"I just wanted to help," he said, unable to meet her eyes. 

Krolia released his face and pulled him to her, one hand on the back of his head. 

"Not at the expense of your life." And he could hear the unspoken words. 

_ What would I do if I lost you, too? _

He let go of Shiro's hand and hugged her back, finding solace there. Her words were harsh, deflecting from her vulnerability. He understood.

They eventually made their way back to the home he and Shiro shared when he was planet side. It was a place that still felt foreign to him, since he was often gone for so long. Even with Shiro including him in the process of building their home, he wasn't expecting the effect of walking through the doors and seeing it. 

He was still exhausted and Shiro led him to their rooms, but Keith tried taking in as much as he could. The place had seemed so cold the last time he was here...but it felt warmer now, inviting. 

Their rooms were furnished like they may have been on Earth. Lots of calming blues and grays and whites. It was...homey, inviting, and the entire space  _ smelt like Shiro. _

There was a living space with couches and comfortable looking chairs, items from the apartment they had shared at the Garrison, a coffee table that looked like it was made of onyx, plush rugs. 

"Do you like it…?" Shiro asked, standing behind the couch, dressed in jeans and a v-neck t-shirt and Keith wanted to weep. He had missed this so much...missed his husband and he felt terrible. Physically, emotionally. Completely wrung out. 

He nodded and Shiro came to him, lifting him up, arm around his back and under his knees. 

"Rest, baby."

Why was he so...weak? It shouldn't have been this hard...Keith closed his eyes and fell asleep in moments. 

Keith woke up to red sunlight and the sound of Shiro trying to be quiet. He sat up, brushing hair out of his face, and looking around. 

"Sorry...I was trying to be quiet," Shiro said. He was half dressed and looked like he was trying to pull out clothes without making too much noise. 

Keith shook his head, a small smile on his face. 

"What time is it?" he asked, pausing, "what  _ day _ is it?"

Shiro chuckled and came over, running a gentle hand down his arm. 

"You fell asleep and slept the rest of the day. It's morning. I'm going to get some breakfast. Are you hungry?"

Keith took this information in and then took stock. Yeah, he was hungry and he had to use the bathroom. 

"Yes…" he said slowly. 

Shiro smiled warmly at him, so patient and loving. 

"Then I'll be right back."

He kissed Keith's forehead, grabbing up his shirt and slipped it on. 

"Any preferences?" 

"Coffee...and a bagel…"

Man...he missed real food...and he hoped that Hunk had outfitted them with  _ some  _ Earth foods. Shiro didn’t seem too upset about the ask, so, he figured he was in luck.

“You got it.” 

Shiro left after another kiss and Keith got up to use the bathroom and take better stock of their rooms. The bedroom reminded him, again, of their apartment on Earth. The bed was larger, a king instead of a queen, but the dressers were similar, the rugs on the floor. A guitar Shiro had was hung up on the wall, Keith’s blade was in a neat stand on the other wall. There were two plants from Shiro’s Garrison office on the window sills and Keith’s dog tags were laid out neatly on the dresser. One of the dog tags was his, the other was Shiro’s. He didn’t wear dog tags anymore, just his wedding ring, hung on a simple chain that he could tuck into his uniform. They’d exchanged the dog tags fairly early in their relationship. He smiled. They’d come a long way. 

He moved out of the bedroom and through the living room again. The house was huge...more like a mansion, or at least, the Galra version of one. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to wander the place without Shiro, but he liked their rooms...felt comfortable there. Shiro had put a lot of thought into the space. He was a spartan person by nature, neat and tidy, where Keith was chaotic and messy, but he appreciated that Shiro wanted their space to be familiar. 

Keith curled up on the couch, wrapped a blanket around himself.  _ Shiro _ . His scent was everywhere and it was heady. Maybe that was because Keith had been without it for so long...or maybe because he felt a little less like he was in a fog? He didn’t know...but everything smelled so good. He rubbed his face against the blanket, wondered if he should just go back to bed and curl up in the comforter. 

He decided against it, waiting for Shiro to return, which wasn’t very long after. 

“You comfy?” he chuckled as he walked in, carrying a tray that was laid out with coffee and food. 

Keith hummed. 

“Smells like you,” he replied, watching Shiro as he set the tray on the onyx. 

Shiro looked up at him through his long lashes and smiled knowingly. He poured coffee, adding milk and sugar to his own, leaving Keith’s black, and brought the mugs over with him as he joined Keith on the couch. Keith curled up against his side, accepting his coffee cup gratefully, and kissing Shiro. 

“Thank you...for taking care of me…”

Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith, nuzzling his hair. 

“I’ll always take care of you.” 

They spent the first long moments of drinking coffee in a comfortable silence and Keith just basked in Shiro’s presence. He was like a charging port...making Keith feel more energized. Content.

They talked after that, about what Keith had been working on, how the Embassy could help. Along with humanitarian aid, Keith wanted to do outreach for all orphaned children of Galra lineage. Ezor, Zethrid, and Acxa were all on board...it was just a matter of scope. There were so many galaxies and planets...so many children who were being turned away because they had Galra blood. It made Keith’s blood boil. But the Blade of Marmora didn’t have the resources on it’s own. Shiro agreed that the new Galra Republic should take some responsibility and the least they could do was be a base and offer monetary aid. Earth could probably pitch in as well. It was already a sort of hub for refugees. 

Keith knew that this was a hatchling idea. There would be a lot of back and forth, he was sure, and a lot of politicking. But this was...progress. It was far more than he probably could have ever done on his own. 

“This is your idea, Keith...and it’s a good one. You should spearhead this, talk with your mom and Kolivan, I’ll put out some feelers with Earth. This is a pretty realistic, I think.”

“I want a 100% success rate, Shiro. I want all of those kids adopted.”

Shiro smiled, nodding. 

“I know, trouble. That might be a big ask...but I think that should be part of the mission statement. If it’s a policy...you can hold more people accountable.” 

Keith nodded, finishing his coffee. He reached over to the table and grabbed a bagel (THANK GOODNESS). He ate it as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks, which, was probably accurate. 

“Easy there, killer. Don’t choke,” Shiro said, fondness in his voice. 

The rest of the morning seemed to go by in a strange haze of...normalcy. Shiro talked about what he was working on, how he felt that he was probably in better shape than he ever was on Earth because the Galra fought, literally fought in hand to hand combat, about so many things. It amazed him. But he was good at it. Mostly respected. It helped that his husband and mother-in-law were Galra. They made plans for Keith to sit in on senate hearings and he was interested to see his husband in action. 

They showered, changed, Shiro gave him a tour of the place. 

How was it that just five days ago he had felt like the weight of the universe was crushing him slowly to death? He knew he wasn’t 100%, he knew that Shiro wanted to talk more about what had happened, but he was...on the mend. He’d have to change, take better care of himself. His family was right. He couldn’t be any good to anyone if he didn’t take care of himself first. 

He’d decided to take three weeks. He’d spoken to Acxa, who had seemed relieved, and left her in charge for the remainder of his time on Daibazaal. 

Keith hadn’t spent much time with his mother after having left. Her and Kolivan were apparently married now...or the Galra equivalent of. He didn’t quite understand how it worked, but she seemed happy. She’d bonded with Shiro quite a bit since he’d been away, and Keith had noticed on more than one occasion that his mother was referred to as having two sons.

The inner workings of the new political system on Daibazaal was strange and he had never considered himself a diplomat, but he’d gone and watched Shiro, who seemed like such a natural. Of course, Shiro seemed like a natural at most things. 

He ventured the gardens around their home, tested himself in a training simulation. He...tried meditating, which didn’t go quite as planned, and then just walked around the Embassy complex.

It was strange having so much downtime, but refreshing. There were some niggling anxieties, but he knew that forcing himself on his lieutenants wouldn’t be useful. It would just make everyone frustrated. So he focused on himself...and his marriage.

Shiro had been so patient. Waiting for him, building a home, coming and getting him and gently, tenderly, forcing him to take care of himself. The energy and time that Keith had offered him when he had been burning the wick at both ends wasn’t quality. It wasn’t the kind of time that you put toward the person you loved and had chosen to make a life with. 

He snuck down to the kitchens while Shiro was training and asked if they could make a nice meal...that his idea was to have a nice, quiet, romantic evening with Shiro and what he had in mind. He found all the candles that Shiro had stashed around and strategically placed them in the living room. 

This was what he had wanted, really. To come home, triumphant, surprise Shiro with a romantic little dinner, just the two of them, and then fuck all night. Things very obviously had not gone according to plan, but he thought he could salvage it with the time he had left before returning to space. Shiro deserved that...and so did he for that matter.


	4. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith just wants Shiro to know how much he loves him...the feeling is completely mutual...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the sex happens :3

Shiro opened the door to the rooms he had started thinking of as “The Apartment” and was surprised to see the room aglow with lit candles. He stepped in cautiously and closed the door behind him, slipping off his shoes, looking up to see Keith standing by one of the chairs. He smiled, braid slung over one shoulder, and gave a little wave. He was wearing black jeans and a comfortable looking black sweater. His feet were bare and Shiro thought he saw the glint of metal on his finger. 

“Hi,” he said warmly, “welcome home.”

“Hi,” Shiro said, looking around, smiling, a little confused. “What’s all this?” 

“Dinner. For you,” Keith replied, moving closer, hands clasped behind his back. Shiro watched him curiously. 

“It’s...more in line of what I’d hoped for when I came home.” 

“It’s lovely.”

Shiro came closer, meeting Keith half way, and leaned in to give him a soft kiss. One of Keith’s arms came around him, pulling him closer, dragging the kiss out. They smiled at each other, bumping noses. 

“Can I change?”

“Of course. Be comfortable.”

They kissed again, parting reluctantly. Shiro padded to their room, changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. It was nice to be in his own clothes, worn in and well loved. He came back out into the living room, to see Keith setting up dinner on the coffee table, figuring out where he could put what looked like a bottle of wine. 

“Need help?” laughed Shiro. 

“No! This is your dinner! I’ll figure it out,” Keith laughed back. 

“Okay. If you insist.”

Shiro went to the couch and sat down, legs curled up under him, watching fondly as Keith rearranged some things on the table and managed to get everything to fit. Shiro smiled at him when he turned around. 

“What’s on the menu?”

“It’s basically the Galra version of steak and potatoes and salad. I think it’s salad.” 

They looked at the bowl that was the “salad” and then back and each other and burst out laughing. 

“Well, I guess we’ll find out.” 

They both moved to the table, sitting on little pillows Keith had procured, and started making up their plates. This was nice...sharing a meal and talking about their days. It was more in line with what Shiro figured they both had wanted for their time together. Keith looked better, too. He didn’t look as drawn and tired, his skin was a little rosier, eyes sparkling. He was quicker to smile and laugh. They shared casual touches, soft kisses. It was perfect. 

They'd already talked about how worried Shiro had been for him and the ways in which Keith could manage his burn out. He promised to speak up and Shiro promised to check in more. The heavy stuff out of the way, he felt that they were better able to enjoy the dinner and each other. 

"No dessert?" Shiro joked, nuzzling against Keith, who'd settled up against him once they'd finished eating. 

Keith looked up at him, frowning slightly. 

"They didn't know how to make cheesecake."

Shiro laughed. 

"I'll have to ask Hunk for a recipe. I could just make it myself."

Keith chuckled, resting his head on Shiro's shoulder, one arm around his waist. 

"You're a terrible cook though…"

"Ouch. Thanks, baby." He said it without venom. It was a true statement. 

"We can do it together, next time I'm back."

Shiro hummed, pleased, and turned his face into Keith’s hair. 

“I’d like that.” 

He reached for Keith’s hand, lifting it so he could inspect it, smiling. 

“You put your ring on?”

“I’m not working so...figured it would be safe to.” 

Shiro kissed his fingers, lips brushing the skin warmed platinum. 

Keith smiled at him, reaching out to gently brush his fingers against Shiro's face. "Love of my life," he murmured, "my starlight."

He watched with affection as a blush spread across Shiro's features, making him even more lovely than he already was. He looked up at Keith through his long, white lashes and he smiled back. Keith cupped his face, brushing his thumbs against his cheeks gently. 

"I want to make love to you," he murmured, leaning in to kiss him. Shiro made a pleased sound against his mouth, kissing him back. 

They kissed for a long time, Keith wrapping his legs around Shiro's waist, hands in each other's hair. 

"Uh, you were saying," Shiro said when they pulled away, flushed, lips kiss swollen, pupils blown out. Keith laughed. 

"C'mon, angel." 

They both sat up, chuckling, adjusting pants, trying to keep hands on each other. Keith slipped off the couch and Shiro stood as well, laughing heartily as Keith lifted him. Shiro clung to him, arranging his long limbs to hold on, as Keith carried him one armed against his hip to their bedroom. Shiro rubbed his face against the side of Keith's, making soft, happy noises. 

Keith flopped them both onto the bed, laughing, watching Shiro's beautiful, happy smile, the warmth and love in his gray eyes. 

"Can I undress you?" he asked as Shiro asked, "Can I take your clothes off?"

They both dissolved into giggling, reaching for each other, pulling off clothing in between kisses. 

They'd had sex on the cruiser on the way home, but it had been fast and desperate, both of them too full of fear and exhaustion to take things slow. This, however, was what Keith wanted. He wanted to slowly take his lover apart, to be joined with him in every way, to remind him how loved and cherished and beautiful he was. 

Shiro had pushed himself back against the pillows, laid out for Keith, arms open. Keith crawled to him, predatory, sliding into Shiro's arms, rubbing against him. He kissed him, deeply, tasting. He was familiar and that was reassuring. A knot of fear eased as Shiro's arms folded around him, one leg wrapping around his own, kissing him back. Keith hadn't realized it had been there, afraid that Shiro would be different, somehow, but he was the same...a constant that Keith could always rely on.

They kissed and touched, refamiliarizing themselves with each other. Every scar, even new ones, every dip and dimple, every edge. Keith loved Shiro's body, loved how he looked like he'd been carved from marble, an homage to perfect masculine beauty. He'd never take this for granted. 

They'd had to pause to look for lube, laughing, wrapping around each other again, petting and soothing. When Keith was finally inside him it was like they'd never been apart. 

Shiro easily surrendered himself to the onslaught of sensation of being loved by Keith. Shiro was by far the more tactile of the two and he appreciated that Keith indulged that, touching and kissing him wherever he could. 

It had been so long since they'd been able to be like this, to take their time with each other. Shiro blossomed for Keith, eager and open and indulgent. It felt like they were back on solid ground again and he felt so much relief and gratitude. 

He wrapped his legs around Keith, holding on to him as they moved together. It was slow, full of intention, and love. Sometimes Shiro wished he could carry this feeling with him all the time, how right it felt, that sense of completion.

Keith made love to him so exquisitely, knowing him so well, inside and out. He treasured and cherished every moment they had together, especially the intimate ones. Shiro didn't want to look away from his face, the way he looked, purple eyes flashing in the low light, brow furrowed slightly in concentration. Shiro arched as Keith hit just the right spot, unable to help his cries of pleasure. 

"That's it, angel," Keith purred against his jaw, kissing his chin, "just like that."

Shiro wished he'd have been able to hold on longer, to draw it out, and make it last...but Keith's onslaught was unyielding, and Shiro came long and hard between them. It did relieve him to note that Keith wasn't far behind. 

They lay together softly, breathing heavy, arms around each other, tucked as close as they could manage. Shiro stroked Keith's hair and Keith purred, head tucked under his chin. 

"I love you," Shiro murmured, kissing into Keith's hair. Keith lifted his head, kissing Shiro's pec, before looking up at him. "I love you."

He leaned in to kiss Shiro gently, fingers tender and light against his face. His eyes didn't leave Shiro's when they parted, foreheads resting together. 

Shiro closed his eyes, holding Keith to him, resting a hand over his heart, feeling it's steady rhythm. He didn't know what he would have done if he'd lost Keith. There was still the possibility that he could...but at least this was something they could control, to some extent. He wanted him to be healthy and happy...and to come back to him in one piece. Shiro opened his eyes. 

Keith smiled at him, as if knowing what he was thinking, and leaned in to kiss between his brows. "I promise," he murmured.


	5. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith needs to return to the Blades and Shiro leaves him with a surprise...

Their time together seemed to go by in a blur. Keith could feel his heart getting a little more restricted the closer they came to having to say goodbye. He did want to return to his post and resume his work, he was getting antsy, but parting from Shiro was always difficult. 

They'd had a good few years living in space just the two of them, before their marriage, going on missions for the Blades. When their careers had taken different paths, Keith's anxiety had been... challenging to manage. Shiro had proposed, then. Something he had been thinking about for a while, something he really wanted as part of his life, wanting  _ Keith _ as part of his life, forever. 

_ No matter how far apart we are, we'll always be together _ .

The words echoed in Keith's mind as he watched Shiro sleep, when they woke up together, when he saw and heard Shiro laugh, when they walked the gardens, when they made love. 

He thought of their wedding vows. Had he been telling Shiro he loved him every day like he'd promised? Keith knew that Shiro carried his heart, that he guarded it lovingly, cared for it. 

Keith made a concerted effort to tell Shiro he loved him whenever the desire struck, touched him whenever possible, wanting him to know how much Keith loved him, wanted to be with him...no matter the distance. 

Over the last few days on Daibazaal, Keith had noticed Shiro at the desk in the study he had, writing away. He was using a pen and what looked like paper, very studiously working. Keith didn't know what he was doing, but he would knock on the the doorframe and Shiro would try to hide whatever he was doing. 

"It's for you. A surprise," he eventually said, when Keith had resorted to tickle torture to get the information he was seeking. He wouldn't say more and Keith didn't press. They had dwindling time together...and if his husband wanted to surprise him, then Keith would be surprised. 

They spent their last day together between lounging in their bed and soaking in the huge tub that Shiro had had installed. It felt good to indulge and relax... because he had another six months living rough in space and would miss this. Particularly the expert hands that were massaging out all of the kinks in his back.

“Oh...oww...ugh...are you sure I can’t take you with me?” Keith asked in between breaths as Shiro’s hands dived into a particularly tough knot of tension in his shoulders. 

Shiro chuckled. 

“I wish you could,” he replied, smoothing away the pain with gentle fingers, rubbing at the abused spot in slow circles. He leaned in to kiss the back of Keith’s head. A pit of anxiety had made its home in Keith’s stomach and he tried to avoid thinking about leaving. It reminded him of how he’d felt before...before Shiro had proposed. Fear of losing him to distance and time apart, fear of how many people would be lost and suffering if he didn’t do something to help. The catch twenty-two. 

Shiro kissed his spine, gently ran his fingers down Keith’s arms, until they were curled around his, fingers lacing together. “I’m always with you,” he murmured, “you carry my heart with you wherever you are.” Keith turned his head, so he could see Shiro out of his peripheral vision, watery though it was. Shiro made a soft noise, kissing his cheek. 

“I love you, baby...there are no conditions…” 

Keith sniffed and Shiro squeezed his hands, nuzzling their heads together. 

“Everything’s going to be okay.”

And Keith believed him...because Shiro had never lied to him, had never let him down. 

Shiro stood on the gangplank, looking up at the cruiser that would take Keith back to  _ The Intrepid  _ and his life’s work. He could see Keith getting settled through the windshield and the cruiser engines turned on, while Keith did a check. 

He looked out the window, their eyes meeting. Shiro raised his hand to his lips, kissing his fingers, and raising his hand in farewell. Sun glinted off his ring. Keith mimicked him, watching for a few moments, before he turned back to ready the cruiser for take off. 

Shiro let his tears fall, knowing that Krolia wouldn’t think anything less of him for it, and grateful that it was just the two of them seeing Keith off. This would always be the hardest part, watching him leave and going back to an empty house. 

He watched until he could no longer see the cruiser, wiping his eyes with his fingers, and walking with Krolia back to the Embassy complex. She slid her arm through his and they walked back in silence, together. 

Keith settled the cruiser into autopilot, sighing to himself. He’d cried enough before he’d left. This was what he and Shiro had agreed to, difficult as it was, Keith knew that Shiro didn’t love him any less. 

He rested his hand over the outline of the ring under his clothes, leaning back in his chair, and closing his eyes. He propped his feet up on the console and something fell to the floor. He opened his eyes and looked down to see a folded up piece of paper just under the console. He furrowed his brows, getting up, and leaning down, picked the paper up. 

It was folded very neatly, like an envelope...sort of like origami...it might have actually been origami. 

Keith opened the envelope curiously and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. Written in the neatest handwriting Keith had ever seen, was a note...from Shiro. 

_ The surprise I told you about is in the sleeping bay. Further instructions are there. -S _

Keith stared at the note, before folding it back, putting it in the envelope, and tucking it into his suit. He stood up and went to the sleeping bay. If he were Shiro...where would he hide a surprise. 

Keith went around the entire sleeping bay, working from the outside in. He checked his bags, the bed, the cabinets above and below the bed. At last, tucked away with his weapons, was a box. It was made of wood, polished, and smooth under his fingers. He sat down on the bed and opened the box slowly. Inside, were...letters. He didn’t know how many there were just from looking, but they were neatly stacked, and carefully tied with red and black ribbon. There was one letter on top, separate from the others.  _ My Love _ was written across the face of the envelope in Shiro’s neat handwriting. __

His hands trembled a little as he picked up the letter and turned it over, untucking the flap of the letter, and pulled out the paper, unfolding it to read it. 

_ Keith,  _

_ I’ve been thinking a lot about what I could do to make you feel more secure, especially in space, when we go long periods of time of not being able to talk and see each other. I know that it can be overwhelming to ask for help or to get the things that sometimes you need when we’re apart. In this box are letters for every occasion that I could think of that might require some extra love or support when I can’t be there. I’m currently working on the second set...for you to have the next time you go back. I hope that this helps ease some of your worry and to remind you how much I love you and am there for you, even when we’re apart.  _

_ I love you more than words can say, but I hope they’re enough for right now. I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Be safe.  _

_ Always,  _

_ Your Starlight  _

Keith smiled, eyes watering, and he laughed softly. He lifted the letters carefully out of the box and untied the ribbon. He carded through each one, looking at what Shiro had written on all of them. 

_ When You're Lonely, When You're Sad, When You're Angry, When You Need a Hug, When You Need a Kiss, When You're Horny, When You're Happy, On Your Birthday, On Our Anniversary, When You've Had a Good Day, When You've Had a Bad Day _ ...and so on…

There were almost a hundred letters...and Keith wondered how long Shiro had been working on them. His heart swelled, buoyed by Shiro's love and thoughtfulness. He dug out his datapad, typing a quick message to Shiro. 

His datapad started buzzing after a few minutes and he answered the call, Shiro’s face appearing on the screen. 

“You found them?”

“Of course I did. Thank you. I love you.”

That warm beautiful smile and shining eyes. 

“Of course. I love you.” 

Keith just smiled back at him through his tears and Shiro cooed at him softly. 

"Get a message to me when you're back on  _ The Intrepid _ ," Shiro said gently and Keith knew he'd be holding him right now if he could. 

"I will. Promise. Talk soon. I love you so much, starlight…"

"I love you so much, baby. Be safe."

"Always."

Blown kisses and soft good-byes before the call ended and Keith flopped backward onto the bed, letter and datapad clung to his chest.

He had no idea how he'd gotten so lucky...but he had and he wasn't going to take it for granted.


	6. Eight Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shortest chapter.
> 
> Keith comes home after eight months away...

8 months later…

Keith tossed his bag down onto the gangplank and followed after it, gracefully hopping over the guardrail to land next to it. He picked up the bag, slinging it over his shoulder, eyes on the figure standing at the end of the walkway. 

He was tired but certainly not to the level he’d felt the last time he’d been back on Daibazaal. He could think clearly, it was easy to breathe, and he felt other things other than just pure exhaustion. He smiled, grinning ear to ear as the figure came into better view. Shiro, standing tall, waiting for him, grinning right back. 

Keith dropped his bag and ran to him, full tilt, throwing himself into Shiro’s arms, laughing as they collided. Shiro didn’t even budge, just caught him close and tight, swinging him around, laughing just as loud. They settled and Shiro’s hand rested against the back of his head as Keith tucked his face against Shiro’s neck, breathing him in.

“Welcome home,” Shiro murmured and Keith squeezed him. Damn...he smelled so good...he felt so good. 

“It’s good to be home…”


End file.
